When in Disgrace
by UnromanticPoetess
Summary: This is a one-shot with Vegeta's POV in the early Buu Saga. A sonnet fic set to Shakespeare's sonnet #29.


Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z.  
  
Author's Notes: Imagine, if you will, watching an awesome music video centered on Vegeta and then having to read Shakespeare's sonnet #29 for English Lit. This is what you get. Probably the first sonnet fic ever. (If you know of another sonnet fic, please mention in review.) This is William Shakespeare's sonnet #29, one of my favorites, though I've only recently thought of Vegeta while reading it. I've based it all during the Buu saga, right before Vegeta sacrifices himself. The first part is right after Goku defeats that big frog monster, Yakon I think. That's when he partly realizes the extent to which Goku's power has grown. The second part is after Gohan's fight with Dabora and right before he turns Majin. The third part is right before he sacrifices himself. I haven't really worked all that long on this, and may revise it sometime. Please include constructive criticism. Thank you.  
  
  


**When in Disgrace: _Sonnet 29_ by Shakespeare**

_When, in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes,_

_I all alone beweep my outcast state,_

_And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,_

_And look upon myself and curse my fate,_

'He still has energy to spare.'

I could almost laugh, if the urge to scream wasn't as strong.  He's a corpse.  Just a corpse.  How exactly can he have life energy if he's just a corpse, that's what I'd like to know.

If I had pulled a stunt like that I would have wasted all my life energy.

But then, that's my fate, isn't it?  Second place.  I'm a prince.  I was supposed to be the king.  I'm the strongest alive on earth, but Kakarrot still haunts me.

I wonder if he ever heard me.  I used to scream at him—scream toward heaven.  Curse him for disgracing me.  Is that why he came back?  To teach me my place?

Well, he needn't have.  I know I'm an outcast.  I killed all my allies, and for what?  New allies who detest me and hold no respect for me?  Power easily surpassed by one who should be my inferior?

It was my fate to be the best.  I was supposed to turn Super Saiyan, not him.  I was supposed to kill Frieza.  I was supposed to be the most powerful individual.

Not him.  Me.

I cry sometimes.  Never when anyone can see me.  When I'm alone, and I realize no matter how hard I try, I'll never be the best.

If only there was something I could do to gain more power…

_Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,_

_Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,_

_Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,_

_With what I most enjoy contented least;_

We're waiting now.

I AM second.  I could have taken down that demon-king.  Idiot boy.

Kakarrot has grown in power.  Kami, I wish I were like him.  Unlimited natural abilities.  Nothing to stand in my way—not even death.  Everyone has heard of him.  Everyone respects him.  Everyone likes him.  Killer of Frieza.  Strongest being in the universe.

I am the prince!  I could have been the king!  It should have been mine!

Why is that purple wimp giving me such a strange look?  Could he know what I'm planning?  Could he possibly know?

'What kind of person are you?' the Supreme Kai asked.  Honestly, I don't know.

I've lived so long in shadows.  These powers—from everyone.  They amaze me.  I am royalty.  I was given the best education and training that could be found.  I was personally trained by Frieza, for Kami's sake!  My life has been pure hell, and I took it.  I took it all, just to gain strength.  I gave everything!  I sacrificed everything!  It's not fair!

All these people on earth, they don't understand.  They're happy.  They don't understand why I am the way I am.  They don't understand why I can't love.  They don't understand how much I want to be like them.  Love, friendship, family, peace…

I hate myself.  Hate what I became because of Frieza.  Hate what I became because of Kakarrot.  Hate that I can't be like them.  I can't… I want so much to give up.

The demon-king can see the evil in men's hearts?  Well, take a gander at me!  It seems everyone else sees right through me, anyway.  The Supreme Kai, Kakarrot, Bulma…

No.  I won't think of her, or anyone.  I'm sick of myself.  The self-pity.  The jealousy.  The worthlessness.  The weakness.  Come on, Babadi.  I'm tired of waiting.  Change me, already!  Cleanse and strengthen.  I'm tired of feeling!  I'm tired of my soul!  Take it!  Do it before I change my mind!  Make me the prince is was!

_Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,_

_Haply I think on thee, and then my state_

_(Like to the lark at break of day arising_

_From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;_

Why am I feeling?  I have no soul.

I gave up everything.

I can't stop thinking of them.  My wife… my son…

The boy is so strong.  He actually punched Buu away from me.

I heard him.  His mother told him I was a prince.  I didn't know that.  The boy is defending me—believing in me, after all I've done.

I can't despise myself anymore.  I was a fool to sell my soul.  The longer I spent fighting Kakarrot, in the hell of my own making, the more I realized I gave up.  The boy and his mother had given me heaven.  I never deserved heaven, but they gave it to me anyway.

They are my reason for life.  They must live.  So I will die.

I don't deserve heaven.  I know that.  Piccolo's words didn't shock me one bit.  

I'm just glad I got to hold Trunks one last time.

Why am I not hating myself now?

I can't even think of myself.  There's no room for me.  It's all Bulma, Trunks, and, yes, even Kakarrot.

Buu is a killer, like I used to be.

'I think I understand you now.'

I have to destroy the killers.  Myself… Buu…

Forgive me, Bulma.  Forgive me.

I no longer want to be a prince—to be strong.  I just want to keep them safe.

And I'll be happy.

_For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings_

_That then I scorn to change my state with kings. _

Advertising: I hope you enjoyed this. By the way, the music video I mentioned is by DannyPoo and is set to the music of Creed's "My Sacrifice." It is truly awesome. Download it at . Also download "My Resolution." Probably the most unique and touching music video out there.


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